one word.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

encapsulate the year 2010 in one word-

2010 was basically like a time out for me. Not only was I not working, but due to the constraints that this put on our finances... a lot of things have been on hold. I felt like I was just biding my time, waiting for my ship to come in. Waiting.. waiting.. waiting... Dwelling.. dwelling.. Not really doing much of anything. While I thoroughly enjoyed this breather and break away from the real world, I didn't feel like myself. I felt constricted and tied to life I was living. Day in and day out. If I would have known where I would end up at the end of year, I might have felt differently, and felt different about this time away from it all. But I didn't know and I definitely didn't feel like that. I felt trapped. And useless. And stuck.

imagining that it is one year from today, I would like my word for 2011 to be-

I really need confidence in my life. In myself. In the direction my life is going. In general. I need confidence. It was what was most lacking in 2010, what I spent most of my time looking for, and something that I have not always lacked. So I missed it. I want confidence in my job, in my relationships, in my direction, and in my choices. This is my focus. This is what I want.

+ Today's prompt makes me think of Eat Pray Love. Yes?

+ On a side note, there is not enough time in the day. Today consisted of me waking up, getting ready, working all day, grocery shopping, making dinner, eating, doing the dishes, cleaning, and now finally.... at 10 pm, cuddling with Guinness and blogging. Basically I have to go to sleep within the hour in order to have nearly enough energy to do it all again tomorrow. Yikes. It will take some time, but I will adjust to this eventually. And despite all of this, I am having the hardest time falling asleep at night.

+ On a more positive note- which I am going to need a lot of this year- I am really liking my job so far.

(reverb10) (beverly e.)



Joi said...

Glad you are liking your job! I always feel like there aren't enough hours in the day after my teacher's summer off! It takes awhile, but I finally get into a routine!

Chelsea said...

Thanks sweetie! I'm hoping that soon I will get into the routine better. Right now mornings are torture and I can't fall asleep at night! It's terrible.