hello summer.

Saturday, June 29, 2013

now that baby bub has thankfully given me my blogging mojo back, I’m here with some more updates! not only has baby rocked our world, but we’ve been enjoying so many wonderful things this summer.

our G boy has finished his chemotherapy protocol and is doing great!!! he is still a bit under the weather, but every day the toxins are releasing from his body more and more and we could not be more happy and proud. he had his first check-up at the UW this week and remains in full remission!! he will continue to have monthly check-ups, but other than that he is thoroughly enjoying the summer with us, including a lot of laying in the sun, naps with mom and overseeing our flower potting. gosh, I love this boy. on his last day of chemo, G came out wearing a bandana that the entire staff at the UW signed for him with the sweetest messages and love for our mister. such a special token of the love that he received while going through something so difficult. we were so proud to see him sporting his “chemo graduate” bandana at his first checkup and to see all of his friends again.

a really special occasion to me so far this summer has been my new window flower boxes. it may not sound like a big deal, and I should be sick of talking about them by now, but I’m not. as a little girl, I always envisioned my life as an adult. I would have a little, bright yellow house with white shutters and flowerboxes under the windows overflowing with different colored flowers. I can’t explain where this image came from, but it has stuck with me for so long. we have lived in our first home for exactly 6 years now, and last summer with the help of our family & friends we finally painted it a bright yellow! words can’t express how much I love it and how happy it makes me. bless my husband for going along with my crazy requests. and for the past month or so, my father-in-law has been using his amazing wood crafting skills to make flowerboxes for me!! after he finished them, Brian painted them white, per my dreamy request. one sunny afternoon a couple of weeks ago, I sat on our front porch with an ice cold lemonade, Guinness curled up at my feet, hand on my swollen belly and watched as they hung my flowerboxes. I have honestly never felt so content and so fulfilled in my entire life. there was something so simple about it, but yet it was absolutely everything to me. my dream guy, my miracle baby, my sweet precious puppy, and my silly little dream of a bright yellow house with flowerboxes under the windows. such a simple reminder to never give up a dream… no matter how big or small.

I’m really into hair braids and skirts/dresses right now. I think that being pregnant has made me more comfortable in my own skin than I have ever felt, oddly enough. I’m sure it’s easy to say this right now, since I’m not huge yet. But there is something so gratifying in knowing that your body is capable of doing what it was made to do.

take a look at this outtake from our big announcement. G was such a sport that day, sitting perfectly still and looking right at his momma for the photo; for probably seriously 5 minutes he sat this way! then suddenly, he realized that there were GIANT balloons attached to his collar and started running around extremely confused. (Brian had to convince me numerous times that G would not float away. seriously, you guys, these balloons were gigantic. the photo does not do them justice.) anyway, G proceeds to run around with two giant balloons floating above his head and we could not stop laughing long enough to take them off. I could however, snap more photos.

we took them off right after that, I promise.

while summer is not my favorite season (I am much more partial to autumn), this summer has been particularly good to me. it has not been too extremely hot yet, and we’ve only had to have the air conditioning on for maybe two weeks total. Our lilacs and peonies and lilies and hydrangeas and so many flowers galore have sprung up happily to greet us and warm up our home. and we found a nest of robins eggs in our backyard, which we have thoroughly enjoyed checking up on the each day (they still haven’t hatched). and few things compare to the breeze that runs through the house when all of the windows open, while listening to a good record.

I’m still not over our two ultrasounds that we have had so far. after seeing ultrasounds for so long on television and movies and hearing about them and seeing friends’ ultrasound photos, they are just so common and so frequent that I never realized how special they are. seeing a tiny heart beating inside of you, is a feeling I could never explain. you can literally see it beating away. that perfect flickering. sometimes I stop and think about it, and remember seeing it, and am just blown away by the fact that there are two hearts beating inside of me right now.

on a whim, we decided to order a fetal doppler last weekend. it arrived this week and so far we have already heard the baby's heart beating away twice. I was nervous to have one at first, for fear of not finding it and this causing anxiety, but so far we haven't had a problem and it was so special hearing baby's heart beating for the first time, just us. we won't be using it all of the time, just a couple of times in between visits and if I ever need to calm my anxiety. but so far, I am so grateful that we made this purchase. there is no sweeter sound in the world!
we received a bit of scary news this week that I am trying very, very hard not to stress over. my OB has referred me to a nationally ranked hospital in Iowa City for our big 20 week (or level 2 as they call it) ultrasound as well as a fetal echocardiogram of the baby’s heart. it just sounds so terrifying. when I was born, I had a heart murmur and pulmonary stenosis which was corrected with an angioplasty as an infant. this has never really been an issue for me, except for those beginning stages of my life. because of my heart history, this ultrasound will be much more in depth and much more “medical” than what my OB could offer me, as a doctor specializing in cardiology will be examining the baby very closely in conjunction with the fetal echo to determine if there are any heart abnormalities. while I do think it is great that so many precautions are being taken and that baby bub will be checked by the best in our area, it is still terrifying and I can’t help but be a little sad that it is taking away from such a momentous time in the pregnancy. the 20 week ultrasound is the big kahuna; the ultrasound that all mothers look forward to so much and now I just find myself being scared of it. I know in my heart that it is for the best, and I hope that I can find the strength to stay calm before, during, and after this testing. we will do whatever it takes to keep our baby healthy and praying every day that baby is just that. hopefully this visit to Iowa City goes as smoothly as possible, and baby shows them how perfect he/she is and the rest of our pregnancy can continue as normal.

we got some VERY exciting news this week, but I can’t quite share it yet. just know that I am bursting at the seams with excitement and will spill the beans as soon as possible. HOORAY!

we have also decided that we are not going to find out baby's gender!! while we do think that finding out during pregnancy and finding out at birth are both great surprises, we both just feel inclined to wait until the birth. we are so over-the-moon in love with this baby already, we do not have a care in the world regarding baby's sex. and i can't help but think about how special our first moments with baby will be. i can't wait to look at baby with my own eyes and discover it's sex. I can't wait to share this special moment with Brian. I can't wait for Brian to share with our family in the hospital that "it's a girl!" or "it's a boy!". we just could not be more excited about this decision and can't wait to meet our precious babe in december! team green!

and our little mini-vaca is quickly approaching and we are looking forward to some time away with mister g to hang out with our family and pool lounge, catch up on reading, and maybe a little shopping too (I may have a lengthly list of baby stores in the area). so excited!

the love from everyone around us is indescribable. I honestly have never, ever felt such love and sincere happiness coming at me from all angles. it just makes me feel warm and fuzzy and like my heart could burst at any moment. I am so grateful for the incredible people in my life. there truly are no words.


baby bub.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

thank you all so much for the tremendous love you have been sending us! we could not possibly be happier and are thrilled to finally be sharing the news with the world. telling everyone makes everything seem much more real. this is really happening! and your love and sincere, heartfelt responses have meant so much.

finding out
after our miscarriage in february, things were very hard for us for quite a while. we didn't understand why this had happened to us. we had already fallen in love with rosie so much and losing her was the hardest thing we have ever been through. but we were ready; more ready than ever, to keep trying. we had no idea how much we truly wanted a child, until we lost one. our doctor insisted that we wait one cycle after the miscarriage before trying again, and much to my dismay, we did. i knew that fertility peaks for 2-3 cycles after a miscarriage and i wanted to take advantage of that. the waiting hurt me, but i see now how necessary it was. i threw myself back into TTC, brokenhearted, as soon as we could. low and behold, on april 13th, we tested early and there it was. another line. what i thought would feel like immediate joy and relief, instead felt like terror and worry. i was immediately terrified of miscarrying again. so much so, that i had a hard time feeling joy. thankfully, this only lasted momentarily, and i reminded myself that these things were happening to us for a reason. God wanted us to have this baby and i was going to trust in that. so i did. and the joy was overwhelming.

the day we found out happened to be my mother's birthday. we put my test that read "pregnant" at the bottom of her birthday bag full of gifts. that went over very well and we were delighted to share our happy news with my family. other than my immediate family, we kept our little happy secret between just us, because the thought of telling people terrified me. as much as i wanted to be that confident in the pregnancy, i wasn't yet. after successfully passing the 6 week mark, where we had miscarried before, we felt some relief. after a few more weeks, an early ultrasound gave us even more relief. a few weeks later, another ultrasound, and we were ready. so ready.

seeing our babe
at 9 weeks along, we had our first appointment. only intended to be a family history interview, but thanks to the sweetest nurse around who remembered us from february, we were snuck into an early ultrasound!! oh, the relief. we saw our little gummy bear kicking and moving all around, happy as a clam. baby was measuring perfectly with a very strong heartbeat. the relief was astounding.

at this point i threw myself into researching baby gear and pregnancy message boards to keep my mind busy. we still weren't comfortable sharing our news until we neared the end of the first trimester, so i kept busy picking out car seats and strollers and crib sheets, oh my!

at exactly 12 weeks, we had another ultrasound and wow, you should have seen baby moving! i could not believe that i couldn't feel anything because baby was literally dancing all over the place. the cutest! our perfect little miracle baby, putting on a show for us.

^^^ baby bub kicking up a storm for us at 12 weeks^^

we are grateful to have a ton of ultrasound photos from our first two scans, including some incredible 3D ones! i always swore i would never be the person to post their ultrasounds all over the internet, but what do you know? here i am. it truly is irresistible. i mean, look how cute my baby is?!?!? we are already those parents that think their kid is the cutest of all. the 3D scan images just feel too personal to share though. you guys, it's crazy how amazing these photos are. for now, i have decided just to share a select few. but by the end of my pregnancy you will probably know exactly what my kid looks like. 

symptoms and cravings
thankfully, my first trimester went fairly smoothly. i had about every symptom, textbook, but nothing too intense. nausea, fatigue, round ligament pain, serious lower back pain and major food aversions. i actually lost weight in the first trimester because eating was so hard! but i am happy to report that in just the last few days, i feel those aversions lifting and have been eating more already. which makes for one happy baby and momma!

i haven't had too many cravings yet, but a few noteable ones have been black cherry kool-aid, apples, my childhood favorite co-co wheats and chicken fried rice. satisfying a craving is unlike anything i have ever experienced. heavenly!

first trimester
and now here we are! already 3 months along, which seems crazy to me! only 6 more months to go. i am so thankful to be feeling better and am looking forward to a summer of sun and relaxing and feeling good. i can't wait for autumn time with a big round belly and apple cider and football (i have always pictured being pregnant in the fall, so i am particularly looking forward to this). and of course, christmas time to welcome our little bundle of joy. baby bub's due date is december 23rd!!

we are already so in love with our little tot, that i just can't imagine anything better than this.

now back to regularly scheduled blogging, since i can finally talk about what is on my mind every second. BABY BUB!

a teeny, tiny announcement.

Monday, June 10, 2013


baby bub is due to arrive this december!

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