i'm just going to leave these riiiiiight here

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

some moments are perfect. they usually come along when you are not particularly looking for them, definitely not expecting them, but probably really need them.

I had a quick business trip this week and while it was only two days and one night away, in the world of parenting, that can still seem long. I didn't get to tuck lorelai in for bed that night and I didn't get to watch her very carefully pick at her breakfast. so when I returned home early this afternoon from my trip, I raced to get to her. not only was I welcomed by her rosy, red cheeks and a kiss on the lips, but the most beautiful snowfall was covering our town too. naturally, we bundled up and and ventured out to our backyard for some fresh air and play time in the snow. mostly lorelai just stood there taking it all in with great wonder (in her defense the snow had drifted and was up to her knees in places). she took breaks to look at me and laugh, crinkle up her nose and point at things and shout "abba".

all we have are moments. and the good ones are meant to be locked up tight in our hearts forever. and blogged about too, or so it would seem.

 ^^ snowflakes were falling off of high branches next to us and she was mesmerized, completely.

^"did you just say "go back inside"? what are you crazy woman??"

 ^^^ "this stuff is stuck to my coat"

 ^ "it's just going to stay there i guess..."

 ^^^ "seriously what is this stuff???"

 ^^ "mom i really like this, let's stay out here forever"

^ rosy, red nose and tiny blonde curls poking out.

^^ out of focus, but so in her element.

if you stuck around for all that, bless you. it was a really, really good moment.

xX chelsea

stuff and things

Monday, January 19, 2015

our new year has gotten off to a pretty rough start... the sickness seems to be never ending and running rampant through our househould. influenza. head colds. exhaustion. it's just so much. I am the last one to recover at the moment and finally it seems like things will be okay. we continue to scrub away the germs, disinfecting anything and everything and rubbing ourselves down with thieves daily. winters in the midwest can be so tough. it really, really got us down when lorelai came down with the worst sickness first, the worst she has had in her life.. and brian and I both followed her lead less than 24 hours later. there was a two day period that is still a complete blur to me and i'm just happy to put it behind us. 

on the night that we all started to feel somewhat normal again, we laid in bed together, exhausted and defeated. we laid there for hours and hours, marathoning old episodes of the oc. and even though we were all recovering and still struggling with fevers, it was one of my favorite moments ever that we have shared as a little family. we were just together, not worrying about the nagging, little things that tend to get to you on a normal day (dishes, laundry, work, yadda yadda) because we were just too tired to care. all we cared about was each other and feeling better (and well maybe if ryan and marissa were going to get back together this time). everything was simple and sweet. brian happily obliging in a decade-old teenaged drama, lorelai burrowing her little torso as close to ours as possible. all of us quietly dozing off and on. such a tiny blip in our time together as a family, but I think I will always remember that night and how it felt.

now that my mind is clearing and i'm feeling like myself again, I thought I would share some little things that have been on my mind and in my life lately:

01 | there was no snow over my entire christmas break.. none whatsoever. it was not a white christmas in iowa. and then of course, on my first day back to work in the new year... we were pounded with snow. a massive snow storm. and instead of cuddling up with my baby, at home in our pjs.. sipping cocoa by the fire, I trudged through knee-deep snow drifts, slid my car where it didn't belong and spent the day freezing in a frigid office. not exactly what I had in mind winter.

02 | in the span of one week, we got a flat tire on one (crap) car, our washing machine died and the muffler fell off of the (other crap) car. needless to say, we are desperately in need of a new car. pray for us!

03 | joy is by far and away my favorite essential oil. one of the many reasons I wanted to explore the world of essentials oils was because of the testimonials I read regarding their help with anxiety. I apply joy to my wrists and over my heart every morning and it has significantly reduced both my panic attacks and overall anxiety levels. sometimes on the weekends I will forget to apply it, just out of lack of routine, and I can usually notice before noon that I forgot. I won't say that it is a cure all in a bottle, because it isn't. I still struggle. but it has significantly helped to improve my anxiety overall, no question. even my husband, who was very skeptical of the oily world at first, would testify to this. sidenote: his favorites are peppermint for congestion and thieves for sickness. I try not to be too pushy with the oils, but young living has blessed our family in many ways. if you are at all interested, I would be happy to pass along what we have learned so far.

04 | movies that I have watched recently and loved: this is where I leave you, men women & children, what if

05 | I plan to tackle the 52 project again, but this year I want to use my DSLR for the weekly shots. I am not off to a good start as it's already week three and I only have iPhone photos so far, but it is a goal to aspire to.

06 | I feel like a lot of people are talking about this and I want to chime in because I feel strongly about it. it is so easy to post a pretty photo on instagram and crop out the gigantic pile of laundry that is sitting right next to it. I've gotten some comments lately on how dreamy and "put together" my life looks. and while that is so sweet and makes me smile so big my face hurts and is such an incredible honor, I would be such a liar if I said that was true. it is not. the laundry was cropped out or I was crying alone in the bathroom five minutes earlier or I just cleaned a corner of the house and was feeling quite proud of it. I fully admit that I try to post mostly positive and uplifting photos and captions on instagram because that is what I want to remember. but that does not mean that brian and I didn't just get in the biggest fight or that I didn't feel like a failure as a mother that day or that everything is perfect. perfect is not real. but usually, as humans, we don't want to remember the bad moments. we want to learn from them, grow, move on. the internet is a place to share all sorts of things, and I just wanted to make sure that this piece of honesty was out there from me. now, who wants to come over and help me fold laundry?

07 | I love winter. I seriously do, I love it. all the sweaters and cozy socks... all the coffee! bundling up with scarves and mittens. and the snow, oh the snow! I love it. but let me tell you the thing that I hate about winter. I don't particularly like driving in bad road conditions, but that is obvious. what I really hate is the lack of light. I go to work in the dark and I leave work at dusk. not only is it bad for my mood, but I never have the opportunity to take photographs during the week and that is so depressing to me.

08 | sometimes I feel like everyone else has their shit together except us. that we're thirty and still frantically running around like we don't know how to live life right. some days it's okay and I feel put together and my shoes are exactly where they should be, as adults do things. but then sure enough, there comes that craziness again that reminds me that I really don't know how to navigate the world of adulthood or parenthood and also that I should probably stop swearing so much. this is a pesky thought that creeps into my mind on occasion and I usually flush it away with a quote about watering your own grass and not worrying about other peoples yards or something like that, you know how it goes. it's pretty important.

09 | when people tell me "it will all work out" I really don't want to hear it 99% of the time. even though usually they are right. my rant above about tires and mufflers and washing machines? all of these terrible, rotten, no good events "worked themselves out" with the help and support of family and friends. seriously, they really really did. I really need to work at not getting so worked up in the midst of these bad situations and just trusting that we will figure it out. I don't handle stress well (see also above rant about anxiety).

10 | lorelai and I went on a mama + baby coffee date to starbucks the other day while brian was getting estimates on mechanic work and it was both A) a lot more work than it looks like, and B) so incredibly perfect and everything I have ever wanted.

and I didn't read a single page of that book either.

love you all,

minimalism challenge

Sunday, January 18, 2015

one of my main resolutions for 2015 is to simplify and minimize. here comes that word again, minimalism. it is so important to me right now and I can feel in my bones how much I need it. I stumbled across this 30 day challenge on instagram and am so excited to give it a try. I'll be honest, some of these items are going to be very hard for me, but I am determined.

I love that you don't have to work this challenge in order, so that you can chose which items work best on certain days for you. and I promise to report back, candidly and honestly, with my progress. items like no internet browsing for 24 hours and no television to fall asleep to at night are going to sting.

disclaimer: I am not going to tackle this in 30 days. unfortunately, that will only stress me out. and since that is the exact opposite of what this challenge is for, I am going to allow myself as much time as I need to complete the items. whether that's 30 days or 30 weeks.

you can find more information on the challenge here if you are interested.

i'm thinking some white walls are next on my list of resolutions... sorry in advance to my husband who loathes painting, but always puts up with my wishes. love you, honey!

new year

Thursday, January 1, 2015

the new year. in my mind I envision shaking out clean, fresh linens off of the clothes line in the backyard and making the bed... crisp, fresh, white, clean. new. except it's not your bed, it's your life. refreshing. recharging.

I have a lot of hopes and expectations for 2015, but they all come with a disclaimer: do less with more focus. Even though there is much that I want to accomplish, life is chaotic enough all on it's own without added expectations. I have struggled with this for a long time and it is oftentimes hard to let things go when they don't work out how you imagined. this is the first of my goals. to live simpler, but with more focus. to focus on what it is truly important in my heart. to simplify. to do less. to have less. quality over quantity in all aspects. it is such a relief. and to be honest, it is something that my anxiety-riddled existence really needs. I will be simplifying and focusing on things that matter, no matter how small. things like:

read to my daughter more | be on my iphone less | declutter our home | eat cleaner | use my dslr more | explore new places | grow our family | paint things white | spend time on myself | date my husband | read more books | show lorelai everything | have slumber parties in the living room | wear lipstick more | stay organized | blog more | slow down | always appreciate the little things | go to the library more | buy my first car | introduce lorelai to all kinds of music | she reads truth 365 days of truth study | embrace imperfection | focus on staying calm | enjoy the now | grow more plants | spend more time outdoors | chase the light | always be in the moment | minimal stuffget in front of the camera more | more essential oils | be okay with a messy house | organize finances | try again to keep a fiddle fig leaf alive | more farmer's market | more walks | cook more | more bicycle rides | thrift more | be okay with being a working mother | dream | more braids | maintain balance | go to eaux claires | watch more sunrises | find joy | always remember that it's okay to be happy with a calm life | drink more water

it's going to be a good one friends,
Xxxx chelsea

[image source: small fry blog]


"A portrait of my child, once a week, every week, in 2014."

Week 52: Ringing in the new year with my darling girl. Every day with her brings me so much joy. I can't believe we've reached the end of the 52 project for 2014. I think I will continue in the new year.

Thanks for following along!
XXx chelsea

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