Monday, March 18, 2013

i would die for that.

jenny was my best friend
went away one summer
came back with a secret 
she just couldn't keep.
a child inside her,
was just too much for her
so she cried herself to sleep.

and she made a decision
some find hard to accept.
too young to know that one day
Sunday, March 17, 2013


time is such a funny thing.
this weekend was hard, and also great. saturday was one of the worst days ever. i don't know why... i was just 'growly' as brian calls it. nothing would go right. i felt utterly alone. i felt like no one in t…

catching up...

pray god you can cope i stand outside this woman's work this woman's world ooh it's hard on the man now his part is over now starts the craft of the father
i know you have a little life in you yet i know you have a lot of strength left i know you …
Wednesday, March 13, 2013


the bon iver record is on.. the opening chords of 'towers' fill the room. i just finished painting color samples on the wall that i have had tucked away for months and sit down to take them in. idleness.. my mind goes blank and emotions flo…
Tuesday, March 12, 2013

the greatest.

once i wanted to be the greatest no wind or waterfall could stall me and then came the rush of the flood stars of night turned deep to dust
melt me down into big black armor leave no trace of grace just in your honor lower me down to culprit south make 'e…
Monday, March 11, 2013

dear twenty eight,

it’s strange being here. where i never dreamed i would be when i met you. but here i am… hopefully where i am meant to be. as an avid planner, list-maker, organizer (to a fault) i have had my life mapped out before me since adolescence. especially s…

the suburbs.

in the suburbs i i learned to drive and you told me we'd never survive grab your mother's keys we're leavin'
you always seemed so sure that one day we'd be fighting in a suburban war your part of town against mine i saw you' standin&…
Sunday, March 10, 2013

the world spins madly on.

woke up and wished that i was dead with an aching in my head i lay motionless in bed i thought of you and where you'd gone and let the world spin madly on
everything that I said I'd do like make the world brand new and take the time for you i just g…
Saturday, March 9, 2013

this gift.

this gift will last forever this gift will never let you down some things are made from better stuff this gift is waiting to be found
your heart's in wide receiving been too long buried in the sand some things require believing this gift will fa…
Friday, March 8, 2013


yesterday was a great day. 
brian, G and I took off for madison early in the morning for G’s weekly chemo treatment (his 8thround). we dropped him off, which is always so hard, but brian was determined for us to have a good day together. the sun was …

beauty from pain.

the lights go out all around me one last candle to keep out the night
and then the darkness surrounds me
i know i'm alive but i feel like i've died and all that's left is to accept that it's over my dreams ran like sand through the fists…
Thursday, March 7, 2013

i will wait.

well i came home like a stone and i fell heavy into your arms these days of darkness which we've known will blow away with this new sun.
but i'll kneel down, wait for now and i'll kneel down, know my ground.
and i will wait, i will wait for you and…
Wednesday, March 6, 2013

keep breathing.

the storm is coming, but i don't mind. people are dying, i close my blinds.

all that i know is i'm breathing now.

i want to change the world, instead i sleep.
i want to believe in more than you and me.
but all that i know is i'm breathing.
Tuesday, March 5, 2013

small bump.

you were just a small bump unborn, in four months you're brought to life, you might be left with my hair, but you'll have your mother's eyes. i'll hold your body in my hands, be as gentle as i can, but for now your a scan on my unmade…
Monday, March 4, 2013

keep your head up.

it's no secret that music is a huge part of my life. i can relate to a song when i feel like no one else on earth can understand me. and some days, that is everything.

i have had a playlist... "when i need it" it's called. it starte…