Monday, December 31, 2012

well, 2012. let's see, 2012. this was a hard year for me. for us. a lot of difficult times, but good times too. though not quite the balance i would have hoped for. nonetheless, a lot of memories and a lot to be grateful. most importantly my precious baby nephew and godson that made it through a very turbulent first year of his life.

round-up of some of my favorite memories/posts from 2012:

i am ready now, more than ever, for the year ahead of me. 2013. twenty-thirteen. i am ready. i know what i want and i am going for it, full speed.

susannah's unraveling journal is always a real eye-opener for me. when i first embarked on this journaling experience last year, the word that i chose for the year was embrace. which proved to be a great choice given the challenges we were faced with. i returned to my word when i needed to and it was a welcome reminder, helping me to focus and embrace what the world brought to me.

this year... i am feeling a tad more aggressive. in a good way. my word for this new year is brave.


it's perfect and it's what i need to be and i'm ready.

as ready as i am for the year, new years eve and i do not have a good track record. in fact, we have the worst. tonight i am sitting at home, watching friday night lights and sipping sparking grape juice. my headache (now going on 48 hours) had different plans in mind than i did. but i suppose i don't mind. this juice does taste pretty good and bulldog cuddles on the couch are a pretty good way to embark on a new year, don't you think?

i usually try to steer away from resolutions, but this year i have some. and i'm really going for them. stay tuned.

happy new years eve, all. and welcome 2013!


[source: T/F]

a wonderful christmas time.

^^^ the previous week's blizzard graced us with a beautiful white christmas.

^^^ g helped me wrap and baby it was cold outside.

^^^ wrapping is always one of my favorite pleasures of christmastime.

^^^ kellan could not leave the presents alone for a second.

 ^^^ g taking in the aftermath and one of my favorite presents to give this year.

^^^ a picturesque christmas in the country and kicking around
in the snow with my favorite snow boots and new wool coat.

^^^ finally home to enjoy our own sweet little christmas together.

^^^ g exhausted and relaxing in his favorite spot as often as he could.

^^^ kellan making us smile while getting ready for church on christmas eve.

^^^ and of course, our obligatory 'he draws, i write' chalkboard
in the kitchen for the holidays.

i hope that your holidays were just as sweet.  lovechelsea


Wednesday, December 26, 2012

through the clutter of all of the christmas movies we have been watching (aaaallllllllll the christmas movies) we have seen some real gems these past few weeks. movies that are still sticking with me and i find myself thinking about randomly... that's how good.

seeking a friend for the end of the world // this film is a GEM. it has everything that i love in a movie wrapped into one pretty package. humor, tragedy, love, loss, unexplained feelings, british accents, connie britton. one of my favorites that i have caught in a long while. [redbox]

the odd life of timothy green // we had been waiting to see this one for a while and it was well worth the wait. a truly heartfelt story that had me ugly crying in the first few minutes. a story for the hopeful and a movie that touched me deeply. [on demand]

hope springs // oh, this movie! i don't even have the words. a movie that every married couple should watch together. extremely funny, and heartbreaking and honest. i cried, laughed, swooned, blushed, loved. i swear, it even brought up talking points for us to discuss together afterward. so good and honestly heartfelt, plus the magical combination of meryl & tommy lee goes without saying. [redbox]

take this waltz // this movie has really stayed with me since watching. i find myself thinking about it still! it is haunting and imperfect and truly, truly special. i don't think a film has really resonated with me like this since melancholia. brilliantly written and crafted (sarah polley, so obviously). the acting couldn't have been better in my opinion. i never knew what margot (michelle williams) was thinking, i only knew what i was thinking. and the soundtrack.. oh my!! [netflix]

10 years // let's see.... channing tatum. jena dewan-tatum. rosario dawson. justin long. scott porter. ron livingston. brian geraghty. kate mara. yes, all of them plus more... seeing each other for the first time in years for their 10 year high school reunion. it is as brilliant as it sounds and one of those movies that you just want to keep going after it ends. definitely felt like part of their 'gang'. [redbox]

now i need some recommendations for more! happy watching all.

[seeking / timothy / hope / waltz / years]

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

merry christmas to all.



Sunday, December 16, 2012

feelings lately have been a hard thing to escape. with so many things mounting up and things that keep happening... i am having a hard time keeping up with my emotions. remember my feelings over a week ago here? they are only magnified now. it's not the worst thing in the world, i know, but i am constantly trying to just keep myself moving and functioning without my emotions knocking me to the ground. i feel like i could hibernate for days, in my bed, and still not be able to escape it.

in my already emotional state, following the news of the tragedy in Newtown, CT over the weekend was probably not the best thing for me. but i have been unable to pry myself away from the coverage and crying until i cannot anymore. our world is beautiful, but it is so broken too. and here i am, trying so hard.. killing myself to bring a child into this world. into this broken world. and the feelings lead to nowhere but confusion and tears.

but how could i possibly deny so many of the wonderful things in my life as well? so, so many wonderful things. i can't. our house is lit and ready to celebrate the joyous christmas season with our family and friends. and we are together. and we are here. and that is enough. and it is.

so many things to look forward to this week. and much gratefulness to be here and to be able to look forward to them.


sunday storm.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

i will never forget the first time i heard 'sunday storm'.  i was piled into a vehicle with my family, driving to this place for dinner by the lake on a late sunday afternoon. i was mad about something (funny how you don't remember that part), put on my headphones and pushed play on my latest B. Joy mix.. and this song started to play.  I remember looking out the window of the car and it was lightly raining.  The raindrops rushed toward the back of the car as we moved down the gravel road, leaving a path behind them on the window as they do.

and obviously i fell madly, madly in love with this song.


list twenty-six: little things.

Monday, December 10, 2012

01. a bag full of cuties.
02. rosebud salve.
03. arms grazing yours.
04. twinkle lights.
05. the letter e.
06. 3pm light.
07. postcards in my mailbox.
08. filled journals.
09. thinking of the same song.
10. sleeping to the rain on a tin roof.
11. even from an app playing on the bose.
12. snow boots.
13. soundtracks.
14. coca-cola with cherries.
15. waking up headacheless.
16. clawfoot bathtubs.
17. making plans.
18. red lipstick.
19. constellations.
20. snow flurries.
21. driving to work with husband in the mornings.
22. knowing he is picking me up at night.
23. antlers.


[source: moonandtrees].

take this waltz.

“I remember when my niece, Toni, was a newborn, I’d babysit her and sometimes she’d cry, like babies do. Nine times out of ten I could solve the problem, I could figure it out, but…sometimes when I’m walking along the street and a shaft of sunlight falls in a certain way across the pavement and I just want to cry. And a second later, it’s over. And I decide, because I’m an adult, to not succumb to the momentary melancholy and I had that sometimes with Toni. She just had a moment like that. A moment of not knowing how, or why, and she just let herself go into it. And there was nothing anyone could do to make it any better — it was just her, and the fact of being alive, colliding.”

sunday morning.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

i woke up very early this morning... relieved of my headache from the day before and so, so grateful. feeling light and happy already, i slipped out of the bedroom, leaving my boys to sleep in, and discovered that it had snowed overnight. and it was still snowing!! our very first snowfall of the season. just absolutely delightful. i have been waiting for this my friends. i turned on all of the christmas lights in the house (which is a lot), prepped some cinnamon rolls for the oven, put on my laura veirs record and happily organized my thoughts for the day.

anxious to go outside, i poured G's food (the only surefire way to get him out of bed) and excitedly put on my boots waiting for him to finish eating so we could venture out to the backyard... it's funny how the simplest things can make you so happy in your heart.

while there may be quite a few 'to-do's' on my list for this sunday, nothing can take away the pure joy of this morning.

both of my boys are awake now and the cinnamon rolls are calling my name......



Wednesday, December 5, 2012

sometimes i am so overwhelmed by the world. the sheer weight of it. the constant gains and losses. pure joy and hollowed sorrow. births and deaths. struggle and success.

the shaking and the still.

there are moments, and sometimes, long fragments of time, that i am overcome with it all. empathetic to the steady beat of changes and trying to take it all in, but still stand upright.

it is so much. too much to bear sometimes and i lose myself in it.

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