Tuesday, January 31, 2012

If you're on my twitter feed I'm sure you've noticed my participation in the January Photo-A-Day Challenge on Instagram. I really enjoyed participating and I am proud to say that I took my photos every day and posted them on time! Can you believe it? No catch-ups... this is new to me...


Since I enjoyed it so much and appreciated the extra kick in the pants for inspiration... I'm gearing up for the February Challenge too. More to come!

Join in!


vivian maier.

Monday, January 30, 2012

A couple of months ago while we visited at my parents house, my dad mentioned a news segment that he recorded on their dvr for me to see. intrigued, we sat down to play it and watched as the story of Vivian Maier unfolded. Vivian was a street photographer in the 1950s - an EXTREMELY TALENTED street photographer, mainly roaming New York City and Chicago, yet no one had discovered her talents. In her daily life she was a nanny, and her photos were really only for her. She didn't share them. Her negatives were discovered recently in 2007 at an auction house in Chicago. The candid and raw beauty of each and every photo is astounding. To be able to capture a candid moment as poetically and truthfully as she was is such talent. What an eye she had. I will let her photos explain....

Such an inspiration! I love cruising around her official web site... the inspiration just pours from the pages. I'm hoping to purchase the book someday soon for even more. I urge you to check it out and certainly to visit one of her upcoming exhibitions if you are in the area.

Thanks Dad!

{all images from}.

a mushy heart.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

I am so happy to announce that over the weekend husband and I have been infinitely dubbed Peanut's godparents. Remember in my previous post when I told you my heart was slowly pooling into mush.... yep, well that has since happened. Over the weekend he weighed in over 3 lbs {HOORAY!}, declared me his godmother, AND bought me this shirt.

heart = mush.

Isn't he the cutest? Here we are, the proud godparents, on our way to see him Saturday.
Brian is wearing my sunglasses, so don't take him too seriously here. Or ever. We feel so incredibly blessed and honored and humbled and full of love that it is sort of bursting out of us.

In related news, my family is a sitcom. Some of you will understand this.

Other events:
+ we watched 50/50 and we loved it. so good and deserves so many awards. so many.
+ I stumbled across one of my photos on pinterest! totally cool and humbling and mind-blowing.
+ I tried this no heat curl hair tutorial that I found on pinterest and it worked like a charm!

+ I redid my tumblr page.
+ next project.
+ and this one too {the gold mason jar}. brilliant! Stacey, you in on these?
+ this! this this this this this! meg, I adore you and I can't even tell you how many times I have read this.
+ finally, I completely adore this and the wisdom in its words helps me get through the week:


you're strong. a storm braver if I ever saw one.

Because it is Sunday {Downton Abbey day} I feel that I can get away with bombarding you with even more Downton things.  I have been watching these videos over and over and over.  I'm not even kidding.. like over and over and over.

Be warned.. there are some spoilers in here. But they are seriously the most beautiful videos EVER.

Honestly... love doesn't even begin to cover it. My heart is slowly pooling into a pile of mush.



Friday, January 27, 2012

+ my beloved Joy posted this sure-to-delicious recipe on her blog, including the sweetest video one can possibly create while making dinner. can she be any more perfect?

+ yes, yes she can. Joy tweeted today that she designed three different tshirts inspired from the series... you guessed it.... DOWNTON ABBEY! I audibly screamed when I saw them.
Obviously I'm a Mary and will be ordering my shirt right quick. Oh, it's the little things people. The little things.

+ Thank you all so much for your very kind and encouraging thoughts this week. It seriously means so much to me and I appreciate all of your messages, emails, comments, tweets, and thoughts. I really, really do.

+ currently my hair looks like this because I am trying this method out. let's hope it works and if it doesn't at least I felt almost as glamorous as Mary for the evening.

+ WOW.

+ soooo cool: Kinotopic app! I'm addicted.

+ I've finally gotten around to handling some exchanges & returns that I have been meaning to since Christmas. The really great part... I scooped up all of these items for practically nothing at all because of my exchanges/gift cards from Christmas. Now, that is my kind of shopping!

goodnight, dears.

start each day with a grateful heart.


downton abbey.

After a rough day, what better way to wind down than to crawl into bed and watch countless hours of Downton Abbey while consequently scouring tumblr for pretty photos {and denying that last night's OTH took place- holy WOW}. I know I have already mentioned my new found love affair with Downton Abbey, but I can't resist dedicating an entire post to its perfectness. I. Adore. This. Series. I love everything - the characters, the setting, the time period, the clothes, the stories, the relationships, the actors, everything. It is enchanting and enthralling and I can not stop watching.

{all three lane-kent}.

Matthew Crawley, you have ruined all other men for me.



Thursday, January 26, 2012

I am sooooo happy to report that I won the lovely Cait's blog giveaway to the etsy shop, giantLION.  Do you even know how totally rad this is?!?! now... what to choose, what to choose.....

Those four are my top contenders and I am trying to choose between them. Not an easy job, but hey, I'm not complaining. SUCH a pretty shop. so glad I won!! hooray!

I'll let you know which one I choose.


the post that I probably shouldn't write...

..... but am anyway because who gives a shit at this point.

I can't get pregnant. Big surprise, no? A lot of people know this already, but it's not really something that I divulge 24/7 either. For the past couple of years I have actually been quite bottled up about it {ie, living in denial of my own emotional state- whichever you so chose}. The year before that, not so much. And the year before that, not at all. I talked to anyone who would listen because we were so excited. Yes, that's right. This has been going for almost four years. No wonder I'm a complete emotional basket case.... typing it makes it seem more real.

You want to know what's even more pathetic? Not only can I not get pregnant... but I can't afford a doctor to tell me that I can't get pregnant. The second the word "infertility" is thrown around, every red flag within a hundred mile radius is waving in your face and the all of the little steps that you thought you were making are thrown into a stop so fast you have backtrack just to get there.

This September we will be married five years. And this April marks twelve years that we have been together. I knew I wanted to have that man's babies the second I laid eyes on him, so in retrospect you can see how long my feelings have been involved. After we married, we wanted to have some time to ourselves to enjoy our marriage. So we planned to wait a year and see how we felt then. When our first anniversary started coming into the picture, we were so excited that we threw away the pills before the calendar even flipped to September. And while we weren't expecting anything immediately.... we weren't expecting what we got either. Which was a big fat nothing. After close to a year of nothing, I threw myself into books, web sites, forums, charting temperatures, vitamins... any little thing that I could get my hands on, read about, casually strolling the baby sections at Target pretending I had babies to buy for... {I won't tell you that I have a perfectly new, in box, bassinet in the basement collecting dust; no I won't tell you that}. I am not kidding you when I say that every day for months and months I woke up at the exact same time and took my temperature while trying not to move an inch for the most accurate results. I'm sure some of you have been here... it is both exciting and so nerve-wracking that some days you don't even want to look at the temp that you just set your 5am alarm clock for. After what seemed like an extremely long length of time involved in these general antics {and some appointments and general testing with my doctor} I'm sad to say that I was discouraged and kind of gave up.

I had come to the realization after about two years of this that it just wasn't meant to be right now and that I had to relieve myself of this for a while because I was slowly driving myself insane... thinking of absolutely nothing else and feeling sorry myself. Not exactly where I wanted to be. So I just kind of stopped... much to my husband's dismay. Talking about it now, I realize that this action was even more of feeling sorry for myself, so much so that I didn't think I deserved to even try anymore. But my brain convinced my heart that my lack of efforts was for my own good.... to give my emotions some rest for a while, to enjoy being young and free and in love with my husband, and to leave these plans up to god for whenever they were meant to happen for us.

Two years later.................

It seems like everyone is having babies these days. And I do mean everyone. It is a part of my life that I can no longer avoid and I am grateful for that. There are so many wonderful and amazing babies in my life now and I am so wholeheartedly grateful for them. Great friends, tons of family and co-workers, even my sister, have all been so extremely blessed with the most precious of babies that I have ever seen, that I don't even know how this much of such an extraordinary thing is allowed in our world.

Surrounded by babies, the feelings that I pushed down so far had nowhere to go but back up. Slowly, but surely they started filling my head and my heart again, and even though I denied them, I was constantly aware of them. I knew that no matter what I tried to convince myself, this is what I wanted and that it would never, ever go away.

Finally after having convinced myself {with a lot of pushing from husband} that this is something I wanted to start actively thinking about again, I called a doctor for a check-in appointment. Due to insurance changes {aren't those grand?} I have had to switch doctors and can no longer see the doctor that I have seen my entire adult life. And today the reality of a new doctor, at a new office, with new rules and stipulations got the best of me. Because of my "infertility history" I can't even be seen without loads of money being thrown their way first. While I understand it from their perspective, from mine it is gut-wrenching. I just want to be doing something... anything that I can to move forward. After finally getting myself somewhat emotionally ready to try to move forward with this again, and taking that gigantic leap of making the call, and thinking that I have finally gotten myself there again.... I am SHUT DOWN. I'm not even sure where my emotions are at this point. I think they ran into my bedroom and are hiding under the covers.

I know that this isn't the end of the road for us {obviously} but I can already hear me convincing myself that this is all because it's just not our time and I need to go back to being free and careless and enjoying my perfect life with my husband {believe me, I have family and friends and a packed social calendar that makes this very convincing! I love my life right now!} All of that is very true, and even though I adore my life and feel so grateful for it everyday, I know that deep down I want more. One minor setback like this, involving money no less, and I am so easily scared away. I know that dreams are meant to be chased, but this one is so hard to keep moving towards. I just want to curl up and stay put until someone comes and carries me there. I feel too weak to do to this anymore.

But I know that I'm not and that I won't be.

I have wanted to be a mother my entire life.

And I won't give up.

I feel a bit better having gotten this off of my chest. And if you stuck around this long, kuddos to you for attending the Chelsea pity party. Alas, sometimes it just can't be helped. Talking about it makes me feel better, even if I only have the balls to talk about it to my blog. I guess that's what these things are for, right?

Sometimes I think that all of my good fortune was used up in my husband... because yes, he really is that great. And maybe that's all that I get. I won't complain, because I know how lucky I am for that, and I wouldn't trade him for anything though. It's weird that my brain thinks this way, isn't it?

Tomorrow will be better and I will go back to dealing with my feelings like a somewhat sane and rational person, but for today this is how it is. That phone call really messed with my head, but I am grateful that it pushed me to explore my true feelings and to deal with them today. In my state of stupor I know that I probably have not explained some things right and that this post will probably truly only make sense to me, but that's okay; it's what I needed. I am ready for tomorrow though.... yes so very ready to think rationally and gratefully and blissfully {meanwhile pinning to my babies board on pinterest, what?}. I leave you with my favorite quote Yes, found on an infertility message board, what have you?!

"I might have to wait. I'll never give up. I guess it's half timing, & the other half's luck.
Wherever you are, whenever it's right, you'll come out of nowhere & into my life."

ready for tomorrow...


{via 55some}.

the good list.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

When you’re feeling down
because you’ve spent the day
comparing the list of things you are good at
to the list of things you know you’re never going to master
it’s important to remember 
that everyone’s list skews toward the latter. 
It’s true. 
There are far too many goals out there
and only one of you
with one single life
to try and tackle them all. 

Some people spend their entire time here 
just trying to learn the particulars
of water polo, 
or knitting a Christmas sweater, 
or playing country music on the harp.

Maybe you are one of those people.
Maybe not. 
Maybe your favorite author is one of those people.
Maybe not. 
Maybe the president is one of those people.
Maybe not. 

Whatever the case
when I think about you, 
or the president, 
or my favorite author
I’m never too concerned about how any fare
at water polo, 
or playing the harp, 
or knitting a Christmas sweater.

{dallas clayton}.

I immediately fell for this dallas clayton poem and have been referring to it frequently for insight since I found it.  I hope it can do the same for you.


whats up doc?

this is the possibly the funniest three minutes of 2012 so far.
take my love of hart of dixie + my teenaged-OC-loving self + rachel bilson cracking jokes at the expense of mischa barton.... while rapping.......

and this is what you get.  pure brilliance.

it has a very snoop dogg feel to it, don't you think?

"ben and brody deuces!!"
oh my gosh.
this is my life.

{this ones for you, missy}.



Tuesday, January 24, 2012

i am completely head over heels in love with this song. ^^^^^
a little bit mazzy star. a little bit 90s prom.  it's perfect.  over and over and over and over.

brightening up my cubicle at work. and swooning over perfectly tiny stories in the loveliest tiny book.

perfectly perfect whimsical embroidered textile art that reminds me so very much of my grandmother.

tea time honey, earl grey keurig cups & my favorite anthro mug. all while adoring my vintage plates.

the much-anticipated release of madi diaz's album, plastic moon. it is to die for!! {let's go-oh-oh!}

taking leaps, even when they scare the piss out of you. realizing how much of an adult you have grown into, and taking the necessary, albeit scary, steps in order to reach your ultimate happiness.

how did you find happiness today??  make it last!


only I would finish Bossypants & immediately dive into a contemporary translation of the Bible...

I've been a reading machine lately.. which isn't abnormal for me this time of year.  I finally got around to checking out Bossypants and am looooooooving it. I had completely underestimated its reported hilariousness. now I get it. I so get it.

I've started to dabble into The Message after hearing so many inspiring words over the past couple of months.  I have to say I am really liking what I have read so far and look forward to discovering more of it.

The Marriage Plot and 1Q84 have been on my list since the start of the year-- as new works from some of my favorite all-time authors; I can not wait to dive into those.  As well as this awesome Hunger Games collaborative work that my sister gave me for Christmas and Firefly Lane, another novel that I have been waiting to get my hands on for months.

good books makes for a happy winter.  what's on your list?



Monday, January 23, 2012

I am endlessly inspired by pinterest. who would have thought spending hours in front of my computer screen would leave me so inspired?  some of my latest favorites:

I'm obsessed with chevron.

lavender hot chocolate.








words to live by.




find me here.


this weekend:

Sunday, January 22, 2012

we had a blizzard:

spent quality time with peanut:

ate chicken wings:

cleaned the house. slept in. caught up with the DVR. watched the ides of march {brilliant}. bought a keurig {!!!}. read a lot. baked chocolate croissants. fell even more in love with my husband.

oh, and I'm crushing hard on this pink nail polish and this pink lipstick.

and I need to know. what are you favorite keurig flavors?? so far I have discovered the chai latte and french vanilla blend... yummmm.

happy sunday dears.


shit girls say.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

honestly...... I don't care to admit how accurate these are. I laugh so hard that I am crying, you guys.

acutal tears.


delicious standbys.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

lately, we have been repeating the same dinners over and over and over. and I am not complaining. we are pretty much addicted to these recipes. like seriously, once weekly.

.fish tacos.

.chicken rollup thingys.  <---- named by my mom

.tomato tortellini soup.

click through for recipes.  enjoy!

CopyRight © | Theme Designed By Hello Manhattan