the suburbs.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Sometimes I can't believe it
I'm movin' past the feeling
Sometimes I can't believe it
I'm movin' past the feeling and into the night

So can you understand?
Why I want a daughter while I'm still young
I wanna hold her hand
And show her some beauty
Before this damage is done

But if it's too much to ask, it's too much to ask
Then send me a son

Under the overpass
In the parking lot we're still waiting
It's already passed
So move your feet from hot pavement and into the grass
Cause it's already passed
It's already, already passed!

Sometimes I can't believe it
I'm movin' past the feeling
Sometimes I can't believe it
I'm movin' past the feeling again

I'm movin' past the feeling
I'm movin' past the feeling

In my dreams we're still screamin'
We're still screamin'
We're still screamin'

lyrics [arcadefire]

sometimes it is unimaginable how much music affects me.
i have listened to this song one billion gajillion times.
i swear.
arcade fire is my shit.
and then today i read the lyrics for the first time.
and i lost my mind.
right there in front of a bunch of strangers.
i couldn't believe it.
something that you are already so familiar with.
and think you know inside and out.
and then you discover something new about it.
and it tears to shreds.
with its power.

how can a song.
one fucking song.
describe what i feel in my heart.
so accurately.
without me even knowing it was there.


I daydream of... {part two}.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

napping underneath the giant willow tree in my backyard.

and journaling a poem at the corner bistro.

taking my children to the zoo and sailing under the stars.

sipping champagne on my 20th wedding anniversary and raising chickens in a coop.

photographing the mountains and writing letters in calligraphy.

ordering my lunch in French and writing lyrics to a sad song.

seeing the National perform live and meeting Bethany Joy.

riding my bicycle to the market and seeing my photographs on display.

filling up journals and picking names for our children.

making frosting with my grandmother and growing an avocado tree.

telling bedtime stories and buying a house in north carolina.

telling my family that I'm pregnant and a mint green bedroom.

driving to california and back and ranunculus bouquets.

perfect vintage pyrex and pastel floral dresses.

riding an elephant and going to baseball games with my nephew.

cuddling with my pup all day and a husband that does the dishes.*

backyard dinner parties and picking cherries.

houses covered in vines and foggy, frosty mornings.


*these are already a sweet reality.

tune in.

the songs above...
keeping me sane all week.

it's been a while since i've posted a mix.
i sure hope you'll like it.


ode to a weekend.

Monday, June 25, 2012

fell in love with scentsy | went to the drive-in movie theater, one of my favorite places ever | cried and laughed with Jennifer, as always | finally saw the Avengers | slept in until eleven | stayed up way too late | filled our house with friends and family and drinks and food and music and good times all night long | loved Brave | drank pineapple upside down shots {thanks Stacey} | I learned that my dearest friend and 'surrogate sister' is expecting her first child {!!!} | booked airfare to the beach with the best of friends | adored my husband | became one of those people who no longer cares that their bra straps are showing when it's too hot out | finished season four of Supernatural | cleaned, a lot | cuddled with Kellan, as evident | napped with G | ate a lot of thai pizza | and better-than-sex birthday cake {thanks Kathy} | cherished the tiniest moments

1. a wide-eyed kellan. 
2. post-surgery mr.
3. yellow house.*
4. more yellow.*
5. happy.
6. so much sleep.
7. napping after church with aunt sissy.
8. how I even captured this.. I cannot begin to explain. I hear "mmhmmm" every time I look at this. love.

*exploring the senses.


updates & then some.

Friday, June 8, 2012

[going through old family photographs; fresh cut peonies from the backyard; my favorite bag with my favorite coat hook; ice cream; Kellan; best buds ever.. G and Kellan; afternoon drinks with my favorite nephew; pretty packages in the mail; book club].

[starbucks afternoons and mocha cookie crumbles;  naps with Kellan; enjoying the fresh air and sunshine with G; more naps with Kellan; saltwaters and new doormats; painting... so much painting; Susannah's This I Know{!!}; new mixed and matched silverware; drinking beers that James likes].

I can explain.....
[1] we painted our house. bright yellow. it is sunshiny and happy and we love it. it was also a lot of work.*
[2] we're starting to feel better again since the break in and get back into a {somewhat} normal routine. but it isn't always easy. I don't feel like the same person. I feel changed. Hardened, somehow. I don't sleep the same. I'm not comfortable doing some of the mundane things around the house that I used to. and I'm certainly not comfortable leaving G in the house alone anymore. so yes, things are different...
[3] Kellan is cute as ever. He is having a procedure in July which we hope will help with his breathing and keep him progressing in that department. otherwise, he is doing great and happy as ever.
[4] my dear uncle took a turn for the worst healthwise, and I am sorry to say that he has now passed away. we will all miss him so much and any extra prayers that you could send for my aunt and cousin would be appreciated so very much.
[5] G has had a lot of visitors lately and he is loving every second of it. and sleeping all the rest.
[6] I have been eating my weight in brussel sprouts. we practically have them for dinner every night. dead serious.
[7] I haven't listened to much else since Bloom released. oh, Beach House.
[8] Brian and I are addicted to Supernatural and watching the episodes on netflix as often as possible. we are currently in season four. obligatory photo:
I swear the plot is insanely good too.

[9] I want someone to do my hair like this. really badly.
[10] my panic attacks are back and I hate them more than ever.
[11] this is the first week of Susannah's Exploring the Senses e-course and I am so excited to dive in!
[12] I have discovered the magic that is pottery barn's free shipping section.
[13] I'm leaning toward a front door similar to this color to go with the bright yellow:

[14] we learned yesterday that G will have to have an eye surgery in the near future. I am very scared and sad, but if not treated properly, Guinness will be blind in a short amount of time. it is possible also that he is pain due to the current condition of his yes. so obviously, we will be doing the surgery. 
[15] today is my day off and so I am going to go get my day started... visit my aunt, bang trim, pedicures and sushi with stacey, and hopefully some thrifting before going to see the Marshall Tucker Band tonight. today will be a good day.

*Thanks again to everyone that helped us tackle the house painting. We are so grateful and love you all and it would have probably killed me otherwise.


we accept the love we think we deserve.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

I know that I have a million and one things to catch up on, and I will. I swear. But I just watched The Perks of Being A Wallflower movie trailer and the entire universe has come caving in around me. This book means more to me than another story ever will and I hold it so near to my heart.

Dear Friend,

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