twenty-thirteen.

Monday, December 31, 2012


well, 2012. let's see, 2012. this was a hard year for me. for us. a lot of difficult times, but good times too. though not quite the balance i would have hoped for. nonetheless, a lot of memories and a lot to be grateful. most importantly my precious baby nephew and godson that made it through a very turbulent first year of his life.

round-up of some of my favorite memories/posts from 2012:

i am ready now, more than ever, for the year ahead of me. 2013. twenty-thirteen. i am ready. i know what i want and i am going for it, full speed.

susannah's unraveling journal is always a real eye-opener for me. when i first embarked on this journaling experience last year, the word that i chose for the year was embrace. which proved to be a great choice given the challenges we were faced with. i returned to my word when i needed to and it was a welcome reminder, helping me to focus and embrace what the world brought to me.

this year... i am feeling a tad more aggressive. in a good way. my word for this new year is brave.


brave.

it's perfect and it's what i need to be and i'm ready.


as ready as i am for the year, new years eve and i do not have a good track record. in fact, we have the worst. tonight i am sitting at home, watching friday night lights and sipping sparking grape juice. my headache (now going on 48 hours) had different plans in mind than i did. but i suppose i don't mind. this juice does taste pretty good and bulldog cuddles on the couch are a pretty good way to embark on a new year, don't you think?

i usually try to steer away from resolutions, but this year i have some. and i'm really going for them. stay tuned.

happy new years eve, all. and welcome 2013!



allmylovechelsea

[source: T/F]

a wonderful christmas time.

^^^ the previous week's blizzard graced us with a beautiful white christmas.

^^^ g helped me wrap and baby it was cold outside.

^^^ wrapping is always one of my favorite pleasures of christmastime.

^^^ kellan could not leave the presents alone for a second.

 ^^^ g taking in the aftermath and one of my favorite presents to give this year.

^^^ a picturesque christmas in the country and kicking around
in the snow with my favorite snow boots and new wool coat.

^^^ finally home to enjoy our own sweet little christmas together.

^^^ g exhausted and relaxing in his favorite spot as often as he could.

^^^ kellan making us smile while getting ready for church on christmas eve.

^^^ and of course, our obligatory 'he draws, i write' chalkboard
in the kitchen for the holidays.

i hope that your holidays were just as sweet.  lovechelsea

gems.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

through the clutter of all of the christmas movies we have been watching (aaaallllllllll the christmas movies) we have seen some real gems these past few weeks. movies that are still sticking with me and i find myself thinking about randomly... that's how good.


seeking a friend for the end of the world // this film is a GEM. it has everything that i love in a movie wrapped into one pretty package. humor, tragedy, love, loss, unexplained feelings, british accents, connie britton. one of my favorites that i have caught in a long while. [redbox]

the odd life of timothy green // we had been waiting to see this one for a while and it was well worth the wait. a truly heartfelt story that had me ugly crying in the first few minutes. a story for the hopeful and a movie that touched me deeply. [on demand]

hope springs // oh, this movie! i don't even have the words. a movie that every married couple should watch together. extremely funny, and heartbreaking and honest. i cried, laughed, swooned, blushed, loved. i swear, it even brought up talking points for us to discuss together afterward. so good and honestly heartfelt, plus the magical combination of meryl & tommy lee goes without saying. [redbox]

take this waltz // this movie has really stayed with me since watching. i find myself thinking about it still! it is haunting and imperfect and truly, truly special. i don't think a film has really resonated with me like this since melancholia. brilliantly written and crafted (sarah polley, so obviously). the acting couldn't have been better in my opinion. i never knew what margot (michelle williams) was thinking, i only knew what i was thinking. and the soundtrack.. oh my!! [netflix]

10 years // let's see.... channing tatum. jena dewan-tatum. rosario dawson. justin long. scott porter. ron livingston. brian geraghty. kate mara. yes, all of them plus more... seeing each other for the first time in years for their 10 year high school reunion. it is as brilliant as it sounds and one of those movies that you just want to keep going after it ends. definitely felt like part of their 'gang'. [redbox]

now i need some recommendations for more! happy watching all.
xxochelsea

[seeking / timothy / hope / waltz / years]

Tuesday, December 25, 2012


merry christmas to all.

xxo


weight.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

feelings lately have been a hard thing to escape. with so many things mounting up and things that keep happening... i am having a hard time keeping up with my emotions. remember my feelings over a week ago here? they are only magnified now. it's not the worst thing in the world, i know, but i am constantly trying to just keep myself moving and functioning without my emotions knocking me to the ground. i feel like i could hibernate for days, in my bed, and still not be able to escape it.

in my already emotional state, following the news of the tragedy in Newtown, CT over the weekend was probably not the best thing for me. but i have been unable to pry myself away from the coverage and crying until i cannot anymore. our world is beautiful, but it is so broken too. and here i am, trying so hard.. killing myself to bring a child into this world. into this broken world. and the feelings lead to nowhere but confusion and tears.

but how could i possibly deny so many of the wonderful things in my life as well? so, so many wonderful things. i can't. our house is lit and ready to celebrate the joyous christmas season with our family and friends. and we are together. and we are here. and that is enough. and it is.







so many things to look forward to this week. and much gratefulness to be here and to be able to look forward to them.

xxochelsea

sunday storm.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

i will never forget the first time i heard 'sunday storm'.  i was piled into a vehicle with my family, driving to this place for dinner by the lake on a late sunday afternoon. i was mad about something (funny how you don't remember that part), put on my headphones and pushed play on my latest B. Joy mix.. and this song started to play.  I remember looking out the window of the car and it was lightly raining.  The raindrops rushed toward the back of the car as we moved down the gravel road, leaving a path behind them on the window as they do.


and obviously i fell madly, madly in love with this song.

Xxochelsea

list twenty-six: little things.

Monday, December 10, 2012



01. a bag full of cuties.
02. rosebud salve.
03. arms grazing yours.
04. twinkle lights.
05. the letter e.
06. 3pm light.
07. postcards in my mailbox.
08. filled journals.
09. thinking of the same song.
10. sleeping to the rain on a tin roof.
11. even from an app playing on the bose.
12. snow boots.
13. soundtracks.
14. coca-cola with cherries.
15. waking up headacheless.
16. clawfoot bathtubs.
17. making plans.
18. red lipstick.
19. constellations.
20. snow flurries.
21. driving to work with husband in the mornings.
22. knowing he is picking me up at night.
23. antlers.

Xoochelsea

[source: moonandtrees].

take this waltz.

“I remember when my niece, Toni, was a newborn, I’d babysit her and sometimes she’d cry, like babies do. Nine times out of ten I could solve the problem, I could figure it out, but…sometimes when I’m walking along the street and a shaft of sunlight falls in a certain way across the pavement and I just want to cry. And a second later, it’s over. And I decide, because I’m an adult, to not succumb to the momentary melancholy and I had that sometimes with Toni. She just had a moment like that. A moment of not knowing how, or why, and she just let herself go into it. And there was nothing anyone could do to make it any better — it was just her, and the fact of being alive, colliding.”

sunday morning.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

i woke up very early this morning... relieved of my headache from the day before and so, so grateful. feeling light and happy already, i slipped out of the bedroom, leaving my boys to sleep in, and discovered that it had snowed overnight. and it was still snowing!! our very first snowfall of the season. just absolutely delightful. i have been waiting for this my friends. i turned on all of the christmas lights in the house (which is a lot), prepped some cinnamon rolls for the oven, put on my laura veirs record and happily organized my thoughts for the day.

anxious to go outside, i poured G's food (the only surefire way to get him out of bed) and excitedly put on my boots waiting for him to finish eating so we could venture out to the backyard... it's funny how the simplest things can make you so happy in your heart.

while there may be quite a few 'to-do's' on my list for this sunday, nothing can take away the pure joy of this morning.



both of my boys are awake now and the cinnamon rolls are calling my name......

Xxo
chelsea


immensity.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

sometimes i am so overwhelmed by the world. the sheer weight of it. the constant gains and losses. pure joy and hollowed sorrow. births and deaths. struggle and success.

the shaking and the still.

there are moments, and sometimes, long fragments of time, that i am overcome with it all. empathetic to the steady beat of changes and trying to take it all in, but still stand upright.

it is so much. too much to bear sometimes and i lose myself in it.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012


I am home sick today feeling really dreadful. but right now i'm watching one of my favorites, bye bye birdie, and drinking my fourth cup of chamomile tea and cuddling with g, so it is tolerable.

also, can we just talk about how much i need this sweatshirt in my life?? it is not even imaginable how much i need this sweatshirt. bye bye birdie + rachel antonoff... how is this real?!

modcloth, i beg of you to please restock this sweatshirt. pleeeeaaaase.

okay, back to my bulldog cuddles now... the most magical medicine of all.
xxobean

winter song.

Monday, November 26, 2012


forever and ever and ever and ever.

Xxochelsea

give thanks.

Saturday, November 24, 2012

for..
pens that write just perfectly | the university of iowa children's hospital | especially the nurses in the nicu for performing miracles every single day | including kellan | sparkly nail polish | chalkboard walls | love 146 | monte cristo sandwiches | my whole family cuddled in our giant bed | pizza trackers | iowa in the fall | stripey straws | every photograph i have ever taken | well written television | memories | so many books | my job | having so many opportunities to grow | flushed cheeks | bully wrinkles | first snowfalls | really big thanksgiving meals | cherry pies | old traditions | and starting new ones | afternoons spent baking | getting lost in the trees | drives to nowhere | having nowhere to be | stringing white lights | peter pan collars | dinner by candlelight | and perfect porcelain reindeer...


hope your thanksgiving was just as sweet.
Xochelsea

weekending.

Sunday, November 18, 2012



this weekend has had it's ups and downs.
+ seeing breaking dawn: part two on opening night. and loving it.
- trying to get to reached all weekend and failing.
- being spoiled on twitter about the new tvd.
- not wanting to watch the new tvd because of said spoilers.
- eventually watching tvd and crying crying crying.
+ shopping for 'hair pretties' for a little girl via adopt-a-family.
+ lunching and day drinking with a ton of old co-workers that i miss dearly.
+ hanging out with my favorite godson.
+ watching homeland {we're addicted over here} and ordering takeout with my main squeeze.
+ seeing breaking dawn: part two again.
- getting soooooo unbearably sick and spending all of saturday night on my bathroom floor.
+ my sweet husband taking care of me {i was a huge baby, i apologize honey}.
+ listening to christmas records.
+ having a really clean house.
+ visits from baby nora.
+ our first viewing of the family stone of the holidays.
- even though i was incredibly sick... i was still listening.
+ a lot of hot cocoas.
- feeling uninspired for christmas shopping this year.
+ trying out the new warby downings {must get them}.
+ shiner's holiday cheer ale.
- a sad, sick puppy and a husband who swears he is coming down with something too.
+ making my favorite tomato tortellini soup tonight to make us all feel better.
+ a new episode of the walking dead in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1....



+++ a short work week for us all! huzzah!

xobean

[source: artisticallymisunderstood]

Tuesday, November 13, 2012



will that ever be mine?
and who will i be then?



Jeune Femme

Monday, November 12, 2012

by Adolphe Etienne Piot

i stumbled across this image of an old painting on pinterest months ago
and haven't been able to stop thinking about it since.
it is delicate and lovely, yet so purposeful and elegant.
i love it.

i have come across the image on several random bouts of social media since then
and that's how i knew that it was something special.

so much so that i customized a case-mate for my phone
with a high resolution image of the painting
(thank you to fieldguided for the inspiration).

i hope it is as lovely as i am imagining in my mind.

i have always been a very visual person and find that sometimes images just linger in my mind.
even if seeing it the first time didn't exactly astound me.
i will never forget the pink-saturated print of a mother rocking her daughter that hung in the hallway of my house as a child...
or the claude monet that i dreamed about long before i knew who monet actually was.

maybe this is why i am such a sucker for pretty packaging and book covers...

xxochelsea

[source].

huuge.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

photo drop, you guys. and ramblings of our recent adventures...
special little prints ▲ furniture rearranging ▲ funny K faces
reaaaally good recipes from pinterest ▲ oxfords galore ▲ leaf covered
cleaning up for winter ▲ enjoying perfectly windy days


lots of candlelight reading ▲ and pumpkin spice lattes ▲ all sorts of new frames
a very tired bully ▲ trying to find a very tired bully ▲ bubble baths
trying to keep sickness at bay ▲ a seriously tired bully







after work family walks in the leaves ▲ shopping dates with kellan
perks everything ▲ afternoon starbucks runs ▲ new ben gibbard tunes
so many leaves ▲ playing with kellan ▲ the walking dead marathons
bulldog laziness ▲ birthday celebrations ▲ capturing pure moments






my little lion man ▲ handing out candy to trick or treaters
starbucks holiday cups ▲ salted caramel cake pops ▲ my famous bulldog (!!!)
basking in the perks soundtrack ▲ and fresh autumn flowers ▲ moscato at night
rallying for barack ▲ moving forward

a sad & empty porch ▲ pretty, pretty notebooks ▲ and pencils
cupcakes for breakfast ▲ my perfect cuddlebug ▲ a very happy godson
that likes to eat his foot ▲ my favorite, favorite new antlers ▲ prints, hanging


my flowers that lasted all dang year ▲ pumpkin ale ▲ the head & the heart (live)
trying not to die over the amazingness of the head & the heart (live or otherwise)
front porch coffee ▲ and succulents ▲ pumpkins of all kinds ▲ babysitting K
watching fall begin and end ▲ so many cuddles
seeing my baby sister off to homecoming ▲ loving the crap out of fall

things are starting to slow down for us now,
and good thing too
now that the holidays are here.
we have spent the better part of the weekend
cuddled up inside watching homeland, ordering takout,
and online christmas shopping.
just, perfect.

not quite ready for the week just yet, but i'm ready to embrace it just the same.
sufjan stevens christmas music helps.

happy sunday.
lovechelsea

saturday nights.


both of my guys are laying next to me on the couch right now..... snoring, both of them. i have the vow on the tv, am sipping an orange soda and surfing through my blog reader while listening to the wind howl outside.

it's nights like these, and moments like these, no matter how small, that i realize how perfectly i fit into my life.

lovechelsea

ps. i finally made the jump & officially have my own .com. so, this is me, welcoming you to lalubean.com. hope you'll stay awhile. Xxo

[wit+delight].
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