12/16/12

weight.

feelings lately have been a hard thing to escape. with so many things mounting up and things that keep happening... i am having a hard time keeping up with my emotions. remember my feelings over a week ago here? they are only magnified now. it's not the worst thing in the world, i know, but i am constantly trying to just keep myself moving and functioning without my emotions knocking me to the ground. i feel like i could hibernate for days, in my bed, and still not be able to escape it.

in my already emotional state, following the news of the tragedy in Newtown, CT over the weekend was probably not the best thing for me. but i have been unable to pry myself away from the coverage and crying until i cannot anymore. our world is beautiful, but it is so broken too. and here i am, trying so hard.. killing myself to bring a child into this world. into this broken world. and the feelings lead to nowhere but confusion and tears.

but how could i possibly deny so many of the wonderful things in my life as well? so, so many wonderful things. i can't. our house is lit and ready to celebrate the joyous christmas season with our family and friends. and we are together. and we are here. and that is enough. and it is.







so many things to look forward to this week. and much gratefulness to be here and to be able to look forward to them.

xxochelsea