Moments. There are so many moments that I want to share. But that’s the thing about moments and memories. They keep happening; especially with a baby. Things are rapidly changing and this blog has taken a back seat. As a working mother, my life is a constantly evolving, rapidly-changing balancing act. Most days, I wake up at an hour so early it continues to surprise me that my alarm clock functions so early and get ready for the day while my family sleeps away. I drink my coffee and head off to work kissing each and every one of them goodbye… my tiny, little lolabell, so peaceful in her sleep. My husband, ever so vaguely aware of my presence as I disturb his dream for a kiss. And my guinnybear, though he is tucked away in a pretty jar, my first morning thoughts always go to him too. I take a photo of Lorelai.. as I do every morning before leaving her, something that I started my first day back to work from maternity leave. Thankfully for me, the flash does not disturb her and I love having the most recent photo of her tucked away in my pocket as I head off to work. (Note: do not forget to switch phone to silent because while the flash does not wake her, the shutter sound DOES).
I work for 10 hours. I don’t care to elaborate any more on this.
I race across town to pick up my sweet girl and see her smile for the first time that day. I honestly could cry just writing this out… because it seems so simple. 1. Go to work. 2. Pick up child. 3. Go home, dinner, bed, etc. But waiting an entire DAY before I even see her is so hard. When I walk in the door, her face lights up and she drops her toy and crawls to get to me. It does not get any better than this folks.
When we get home, we usually take a tiny nap together. By “we nap”, I mean she sleeps peacefully on my chest and I take in every part of her. Her smell, her tiny toes, her little lungs going up and down. I think about her day and how lucky I am to have her and oftentimes I take more pictures of her too. Her nap usually only lasts a half hour or so and then we go about our evening. Those tiny naps are everything.
Daddy gets home and we “hooray” and “huzzah”. We play on the living room floor and practice walking and talking. Dinner time sneaks up, and we prepare something to eat. Lorelai snacks on her puffs or some veggies or more recently spaghettis and meats (my girl is getting so grown). TV is usually enjoyed and more toys are strewn about. Stories are read and our days are shared. This… this is what my days are about. My little family.
Bed time is here and it’s time for a quick bath. Lorelai loves her bath time. Jammies are rocked, more books are read and our sweet little munchkin goes down for bed. On the nights that I can’t seem to say goodbye just yet… she cuddles with me some more and we watch tv until she falls asleep. Some days the idea of not seeing her until the next evening is just too much to bare.
Did I mention that dishes and laundry and cleaning are still things? Yes, these things need doing as well and they usually come after Lola’s bedtime. Gosh, it is hard. The weekends are a treasure and some Saturday’s it is hard to even get out of bed at all. But thank goodness we do, because those are the really good days.
For a while I thought that I would eventually find the perfect routine and balance. But I won’t. It won’t ever be perfect. It will only be what it is that week, or that day, or that minute. Being a working mother is so hard. I don’t think people really talk about how hard it is.
But it is everything. And I suppose that is the only part worth talking about.
Until next time?