stuff and things

Monday, January 19, 2015

our new year has gotten off to a pretty rough start... the sickness seems to be never ending and running rampant through our househould. influenza. head colds. exhaustion. it's just so much. I am the last one to recover at the moment and finally it seems like things will be okay. we continue to scrub away the germs, disinfecting anything and everything and rubbing ourselves down with thieves daily. winters in the midwest can be so tough. it really, really got us down when lorelai came down with the worst sickness first, the worst she has had in her life.. and brian and I both followed her lead less than 24 hours later. there was a two day period that is still a complete blur to me and i'm just happy to put it behind us. 

on the night that we all started to feel somewhat normal again, we laid in bed together, exhausted and defeated. we laid there for hours and hours, marathoning old episodes of the oc. and even though we were all recovering and still struggling with fevers, it was one of my favorite moments ever that we have shared as a little family. we were just together, not worrying about the nagging, little things that tend to get to you on a normal day (dishes, laundry, work, yadda yadda) because we were just too tired to care. all we cared about was each other and feeling better (and well maybe if ryan and marissa were going to get back together this time). everything was simple and sweet. brian happily obliging in a decade-old teenaged drama, lorelai burrowing her little torso as close to ours as possible. all of us quietly dozing off and on. such a tiny blip in our time together as a family, but I think I will always remember that night and how it felt.

now that my mind is clearing and i'm feeling like myself again, I thought I would share some little things that have been on my mind and in my life lately:

01 | there was no snow over my entire christmas break.. none whatsoever. it was not a white christmas in iowa. and then of course, on my first day back to work in the new year... we were pounded with snow. a massive snow storm. and instead of cuddling up with my baby, at home in our pjs.. sipping cocoa by the fire, I trudged through knee-deep snow drifts, slid my car where it didn't belong and spent the day freezing in a frigid office. not exactly what I had in mind winter.

02 | in the span of one week, we got a flat tire on one (crap) car, our washing machine died and the muffler fell off of the (other crap) car. needless to say, we are desperately in need of a new car. pray for us!

03 | joy is by far and away my favorite essential oil. one of the many reasons I wanted to explore the world of essentials oils was because of the testimonials I read regarding their help with anxiety. I apply joy to my wrists and over my heart every morning and it has significantly reduced both my panic attacks and overall anxiety levels. sometimes on the weekends I will forget to apply it, just out of lack of routine, and I can usually notice before noon that I forgot. I won't say that it is a cure all in a bottle, because it isn't. I still struggle. but it has significantly helped to improve my anxiety overall, no question. even my husband, who was very skeptical of the oily world at first, would testify to this. sidenote: his favorites are peppermint for congestion and thieves for sickness. I try not to be too pushy with the oils, but young living has blessed our family in many ways. if you are at all interested, I would be happy to pass along what we have learned so far.

04 | movies that I have watched recently and loved: this is where I leave you, men women & children, what if

05 | I plan to tackle the 52 project again, but this year I want to use my DSLR for the weekly shots. I am not off to a good start as it's already week three and I only have iPhone photos so far, but it is a goal to aspire to.

06 | I feel like a lot of people are talking about this and I want to chime in because I feel strongly about it. it is so easy to post a pretty photo on instagram and crop out the gigantic pile of laundry that is sitting right next to it. I've gotten some comments lately on how dreamy and "put together" my life looks. and while that is so sweet and makes me smile so big my face hurts and is such an incredible honor, I would be such a liar if I said that was true. it is not. the laundry was cropped out or I was crying alone in the bathroom five minutes earlier or I just cleaned a corner of the house and was feeling quite proud of it. I fully admit that I try to post mostly positive and uplifting photos and captions on instagram because that is what I want to remember. but that does not mean that brian and I didn't just get in the biggest fight or that I didn't feel like a failure as a mother that day or that everything is perfect. perfect is not real. but usually, as humans, we don't want to remember the bad moments. we want to learn from them, grow, move on. the internet is a place to share all sorts of things, and I just wanted to make sure that this piece of honesty was out there from me. now, who wants to come over and help me fold laundry?

07 | I love winter. I seriously do, I love it. all the sweaters and cozy socks... all the coffee! bundling up with scarves and mittens. and the snow, oh the snow! I love it. but let me tell you the thing that I hate about winter. I don't particularly like driving in bad road conditions, but that is obvious. what I really hate is the lack of light. I go to work in the dark and I leave work at dusk. not only is it bad for my mood, but I never have the opportunity to take photographs during the week and that is so depressing to me.

08 | sometimes I feel like everyone else has their shit together except us. that we're thirty and still frantically running around like we don't know how to live life right. some days it's okay and I feel put together and my shoes are exactly where they should be, as adults do things. but then sure enough, there comes that craziness again that reminds me that I really don't know how to navigate the world of adulthood or parenthood and also that I should probably stop swearing so much. this is a pesky thought that creeps into my mind on occasion and I usually flush it away with a quote about watering your own grass and not worrying about other peoples yards or something like that, you know how it goes. it's pretty important.

09 | when people tell me "it will all work out" I really don't want to hear it 99% of the time. even though usually they are right. my rant above about tires and mufflers and washing machines? all of these terrible, rotten, no good events "worked themselves out" with the help and support of family and friends. seriously, they really really did. I really need to work at not getting so worked up in the midst of these bad situations and just trusting that we will figure it out. I don't handle stress well (see also above rant about anxiety).

10 | lorelai and I went on a mama + baby coffee date to starbucks the other day while brian was getting estimates on mechanic work and it was both A) a lot more work than it looks like, and B) so incredibly perfect and everything I have ever wanted.

and I didn't read a single page of that book either.

love you all,