thank you all so much for the tremendous love you have been sending us! we could not possibly be happier and are thrilled to finally be sharing the news with the world. telling everyone makes everything seem much more real. this is really happening! and your love and sincere, heartfelt responses have meant so much.
after our miscarriage in february, things were very hard for us for quite a while. we didn't understand why this had happened to us. we had already fallen in love with rosie so much and losing her was the hardest thing we have ever been through. but we were ready; more ready than ever, to keep trying. we had no idea how much we truly wanted a child, until we lost one. our doctor insisted that we wait one cycle after the miscarriage before trying again, and much to my dismay, we did. i knew that fertility peaks for 2-3 cycles after a miscarriage and i wanted to take advantage of that. the waiting hurt me, but i see now how necessary it was. i threw myself back into TTC, brokenhearted, as soon as we could. low and behold, on april 13th, we tested early and there it was. another line. what i thought would feel like immediate joy and relief, instead felt like terror and worry. i was immediately terrified of miscarrying again. so much so, that i had a hard time feeling joy. thankfully, this only lasted momentarily, and i reminded myself that these things were happening to us for a reason. God wanted us to have this baby and i was going to trust in that. so i did. and the joy was overwhelming.
the day we found out happened to be my mother's birthday. we put my test that read "pregnant" at the bottom of her birthday bag full of gifts. that went over very well and we were delighted to share our happy news with my family. other than my immediate family, we kept our little happy secret between just us, because the thought of telling people terrified me. as much as i wanted to be that confident in the pregnancy, i wasn't yet. after successfully passing the 6 week mark, where we had miscarried before, we felt some relief. after a few more weeks, an early ultrasound gave us even more relief. a few weeks later, another ultrasound, and we were ready. so ready.
seeing our babe
at 9 weeks along, we had our first appointment. only intended to be a family history interview, but thanks to the sweetest nurse around who remembered us from february, we were snuck into an early ultrasound!! oh, the relief. we saw our little gummy bear kicking and moving all around, happy as a clam. baby was measuring perfectly with a very strong heartbeat. the relief was astounding.
at this point i threw myself into researching baby gear and pregnancy message boards to keep my mind busy. we still weren't comfortable sharing our news until we neared the end of the first trimester, so i kept busy picking out car seats and strollers and crib sheets, oh my!
at exactly 12 weeks, we had another ultrasound and wow, you should have seen baby moving! i could not believe that i couldn't feel anything because baby was literally dancing all over the place. the cutest! our perfect little miracle baby, putting on a show for us.
^^^ baby bub kicking up a storm for us at 12 weeks^^
we are grateful to have a ton of ultrasound photos from our first two scans, including some incredible 3D ones! i always swore i would never be the person to post their ultrasounds all over the internet, but what do you know? here i am. it truly is irresistible. i mean, look how cute my baby is?!?!? we are already those parents that think their kid is the cutest of all. the 3D scan images just feel too personal to share though. you guys, it's crazy how amazing these photos are. for now, i have decided just to share a select few. but by the end of my pregnancy you will probably know exactly what my kid looks like.
symptoms and cravings
thankfully, my first trimester went fairly smoothly. i had about every symptom, textbook, but nothing too intense. nausea, fatigue, round ligament pain, serious lower back pain and major food aversions. i actually lost weight in the first trimester because eating was so hard! but i am happy to report that in just the last few days, i feel those aversions lifting and have been eating more already. which makes for one happy baby and momma!
i haven't had too many cravings yet, but a few noteable ones have been black cherry kool-aid, apples, my childhood favorite co-co wheats and chicken fried rice. satisfying a craving is unlike anything i have ever experienced. heavenly!
and now here we are! already 3 months along, which seems crazy to me! only 6 more months to go. i am so thankful to be feeling better and am looking forward to a summer of sun and relaxing and feeling good. i can't wait for autumn time with a big round belly and apple cider and football (i have always pictured being pregnant in the fall, so i am particularly looking forward to this). and of course, christmas time to welcome our little bundle of joy. baby bub's due date is december 23rd!!
we are already so in love with our little tot, that i just can't imagine anything better than this.
now back to regularly scheduled blogging, since i can finally talk about what is on my mind every second. BABY BUB!