oh autumn. it is almost amongst us. my faaaaaaaaaaaaaavorite time of all. i will dye my hair dark. and watch you've got mail. and walk all over crunchy leaves. and most importantly, drink pumpkin spice lattes. i have already started my list:
01. eat turkey and dressing sandwiches. 02. find my way out of the hay bail maze. 03. pumpkin. spice. lattes. 04. bake cupcakes. 05. carve pumpkins. 06. wear sweaters. 07. and boots. 08. and scarves. 09. have movie marathon days. 10. sip tea. 11. bake anything. 12. football games. 13. burn candles. 14. paint my nails dark colours. 15. (fall means that i can say colours instead of colors). 16. candy corn. 17. cardigans. 18. crockpot dinners. 19. halloween. 20. sleep with the windows open. 21. fresh, crisp air. 22. plaid. 23. apple orchards. 24. boots. 25. layer clothes. 26. hot cocoa. 27. comfy, oversized sweaters. 28. curl up in blankets. 29. apple cider anything. 30. flushed cheeks. 31. fall television.
I feel most like me in autumn. hello september.... I have been waiting for you.
God looked around his garden and found an empty place, He then looked down upon earth and saw your tired face. He put his arms around you and lifted you to rest. God's garden must be beautiful He always takes the best. He knew that you were suffering He knew you were in pain. He knew that you would never get well on earth again. He saw the road was getting rough and the hills were hard to climb. so he closed your weary eyelids and whispered, 'peace be thine.' it broke our hearts to lose you but you didn't go alone, for part of us went with you the day God called you home.
life is not fair. it is not fair. I don't think that I will ever understand why good people are taken from us. I do believe that when they are, they are taken to a heavenly place full of peace and happiness. But I will forever hate the fact that they are plucked away from everyone they have ever known and loved. And I will never understand why such amazing people do not get to enjoy their time on earth for as long as they deserve. I guess I am just hurting right now and it is easier to blame the universe than anything else. But to know someone so gracious and so full of life taken away before their time... how do you not question everything?
ultimately peace will overcome. and the assurance of a place bigger and better than all of us sounds my heart.
Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy.
bed | coffee | reading | corn on the cob | road trip planning arthur | mr. g's birthday | frozen yogurt | bookstores | record shops listening to sondre | mississippi grogg | lunch dates
new nail polish | big brother 13 | new porch railing
i've had the most relaxing weekend in a long while. and it was much-needed. i didn't hardly touch my 'to-do' list, but i'm okay with that. i did good on my 'i-really-needed-this-without-even-realizing-it' list.
this weekend involved a lot of wine... perfect. we jetted off for an adventure friday night to a nearby winery:
convertible rides. homemade pizzas. wine tastings. sunsets. twinkle lights. rows and rows of grapes. dogs that loved us and our food. yatzee. good friends. long talks. cute little bands. the stars.
I'd say that's a pretty great way to kick off a weekend.
Saturday morning involved a little sleeping in, a little lazy morning, a little bully cuddles. Then I was off to watch my sister star in yet another play, The Wizard of Oz, which was incredible!! She is so talented and special, it honestly melts my heart. Meanwhile husband enjoyed himself quite a lot at Wingfest... yep, chicken wings and beer. The guys and gals happily gathered up together later and spent the night talking, eating and laughing at youtube videos. Very nice and much-needed.
Sunday we woke up early, opened the windows, turned on the record player, and started cleaning (and dancing)! Cinnamon rolls must have given us a lot of energy. Then I headed off to Kathy's baby shower... hard to believe how fast things are going by! It was, of course, the lovliest, prettiest, girlish shower I have ever been to. A truly magical day filled with cake balls, friends and family, and tons of little, itty, bitty, tiny, mini clothes. I am squeeling on the inside just saying that.
Sunday evening settled in way too quick. In an effort to prolong the weekend adventures, we ordered chinese and settled in for some good tv. It worked... but only for a little while. I truly have a wonderful, wonderful support system in my life. And while things are still very hard right now, being able to rely on others makes it easier. Especially you husband- thank you for the wake-up call (sort of). xo chelsea
01. jasmine's post says exactly what i am feeling in my life right now. like every single letter spilled right out of my heart (you're amazing Jasmine, I'm so glad i "know" you).
02. replay this song forever:
oh how i hope you listened to that. the lyrics are so beautiful it hurts.
03. i'm so digging my new lark shirt designed by joy. a portion of proceeds benefit love146. check 'em out.
04. kirkfranklin's tweets. they mean so much to me, every single time, that i actually get them sent to my phone. a constant source of inspiration for me. favorite person i'm following right now.
05. how much do i miss secret tracks? a lot. does anyone still do this? i would buy an album just for it.
06. autumn is almost here. my excitement for this couldn't possibly be explained in words... it could only be expressed if you see me frolicking the streets come september wearing layered hoodies with a scarf and kicking around the beautiful fallen leaves with a latte in my hand. then you might understand.
You know... I feel like I have done all the right things in life. I have taken all the right steps. I've always done the "right" thing that I should be doing. And this is where it has gotten me. While I am happy in general, I can't help but want more. Isn't this always the case? I blame myself for feeling so selfish. And then I blame myself for getting so frustrated when I see others who just get everything handed to them. Or better yet, get things that they don't even want. That I would die for. Life can just be so freaking hard sometimes. Yes I know, whine whine whine. Here is Chelsea, whining some more. I really am doing so much better with this and putting all of my focus into the things that really matter. I think it is working. I have been much happier these past few days. I realize that these things will make me stronger. And that for reasons I don't understand, this is where I'm suppose to be. It's hard, but it is. It just is. I'm okay with that.
We have more possibilities available in each moment than we realize. -- Thich Nhat Hanh xo
trust me when I say that you don't want to see my weekend in collage this time. and I defintely don't want to think about making it. I will try to recap for you some of the good things that poked through the surface of the rest of the pure fucking bullshit that we've been dealing with this weekend. things i've distracting myself with:
01. shark week.
02. my husband.
06. finally having wireless internet again (nevermind the fact that this cost $80).
08. that i will be spending a lot of time with husband this week since he will be driving me to and from work (nevermind the fact that my car is currently out of commission).
09. big brother.
10. my always-willing-to-cuddle dog.
11. the possibilities that i hope to make realities very soon, with my always-there-to-lean-on husband by my side.
sorry, i guess that's all i got.
unfortunately, as much as i want all of these things above to mean something to me, right now they really don't. merely distractions that i've been keeping myself busy with and pretending they're important. in reality my world has been shattered apart; never to return to what i have always known. i'm terrified.
things are never going to get easier. and i can't wait to stop feeling sorry for myself.
every summer, there is an album. i'm not sure how this always seems to happen, but every summer i have a go-to album that basically defines my summer. to this day, when i hear songs from said album, i can tell you what year and the exact way that i felt when i drove down that road with the wind whipping through my hair, belting out the lyrics. most recently:
am i the only one?? what are your unexpected summer albums?
... modern prophets are rediscovered
When you gonna learn to live with a feeling there is something better? Feel good about it So good about it
When you gonna lose control? There is nothing you can do about it Cause honestly, couldn't handle last night either Take this ... cup and start to feel good about it So good about it So good about it So good about it
to be honest I was a bit of an emotional basketcase this weekend (sidenote: my husband is a saint). luckily, we snuck in quite a few enjoyable moments too. especially our trip to the drive-in movies... one of my favorite things to do. especially in the middle of an iowa corn field, underneath the brightest stars. nothing else really matters.....